Monday, December 6, 2010

Innoventions: A Waste of Tomorrowland Space

Tomorrowland is a place, that at one point, represented the future. It's the land that is made over the most often, the last time in 1998. Since then, not a whole lot has changed. The Rocket Rods came and went rather quickly, "Buzz Lightyear's AstroBlasters" has moved in, "Space Mountain" got a new track, and that's about it.

Innoventions: A big building with a tiny, tiny punch
The land hardly represents any type of "Tomorrow." From the dated "Astro Orbiter," which takes its design from "Dumbo The Flying Elephant," a 1955 original ride, to "Autopia," itself an original ride, Tomorrowland's name is becoming almost ironic: Captain E.O. has just moved in, an attraction that was most popular in the 1980's. "Star Tours," which will reopen next year, is based on a movie where the first words of the introduction read "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far way."

Which brings us to Innoventions. Sheesh. I haven't checked it out in a while, but had to last time as the group was on a mission to experience every attraction on the map. I'll probably never check it out again.

Thinking harder than I needed to
The first stop on Innoventions is a cheesy ABC programming commercial disguised as a game show. I was lucky enough to get picked as a contestant, but alas, the show was rigged, and  ended in a tie. Funny enough, I already watch "Modern Family" and "The Middle," so the commercial was wasted on me. The third show, "Wipeout," I will never watch, because I have that thing called taste.

Then it drops you off in the new "House of Tomorrow," which itself is a disguise for a Microsoft ad. In every room, a Zune, a product available today that sales show will probably not have a tomorrow.  In other rooms, computers running Windows. Embedded in a table, a large touch screen whose controls were less then functional. And in the kitchen, well, I don't know what was in the kitchen because it was broken. Apparently, technology is still sporadically functional in the future.

Up to the second floor, and I can see what my face will look like when I'm 60, or what it would look like if my face was wax and it was a hot day. Such cool technology. That was sarcasm. I can buy the FatBooth app and do virtually the same thing.

If that's not your thing, you can maybe play some dated Disney video games, or check out the new Honda CRZ's, which a Honda spokesperson will happily try to sell to you.

If you're lucky, you might get to see Honda's ASIMO show, you know, that robot that was cool like 5 years ago?

This pin may be less vintage than you think
It's not that I'm anti-product placement. Disneyland was built on the concept and I appreciate what it can bring to me, the guest. But when it feels like the attraction you're on is a commercial, that is overstepping the boundaries.

The whole concept for Innoventions is a hard thing to keep current. Technology becomes dated so quickly, that to keep up something boasting it has "the technology of tomorrow" and live up to that claim, the thing would have to be updated monthly, which is not something that can realistically happen.

Really, Innoventions is just the tip of the ironic iceberg. Tomorrowland is anything but a land about the future. It's in dire need of a makeover. a makeover that will hopefully replace Innoventions with something a tad bit more exciting, put something fun on the empty PeopleMove/Rocket Rod's track (Light Cycles!), update the engines of Autopia's vehicles to some sort of hybrid or Hydrogen model, and make the land more about "tomorrow."

At the very least, make it something we will even remember tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. Agreed! Why can't they see the obvious? And the placement of the hideous Astro-Orbiter (looks cheap), what the heck?! It is only a cool ride with a really elevated where it used to be.