I'm ultra-competitive. I'm the best looking, smartest and most funny Disney guy out there (for the most prolific blog competition, I gave up on that a long time. I know that the last time I posted, it was during a month that begins with "M", and I'm not talking about this past May. Sorry, four loyal readers [See what I'm saying about the funny thing?!]). Asky anybody. That stranger eating food at the table next to him. Ask him, I don't care if he's mid bite. Ask. He'll tell you.
But I don't collect anything (accept admirers. [He strikes again!]), I'm not the Preston from "Blank Check" (and even if I was, those filmakers had a warped idea of what $1 million could do. And that kid was an idiot for not slapping a couple of more zeros on that bad boy), so I have only been to all of the domestic parks. That means I'm left with only one option to be Captain Disney: go to Club 33, the ultimate destination for Disney fans in looking for some serious bragging rights that don't require crossing an ocean.
I've been once before when I was the grand old age of 12. If I blogged about it back then, the post would have looked like this: "It was cool," and it would have taken me five minutes to type. Well, ten years later, through the awesome Meetup app and the Disneyland Fan Club group, I was afforded a second chance to both dine, and write a more extensive review of the experience: It was super cool.
I'm just pulling the chain on your high-tank toilet! You don't have one of those? You must not live at Club 33, because they totally do. Along with some amazing views, a rad elevator that wasn't working, half-built microphones in chandeliers, taxidermied animals, some awesome cast members, and as a whole, the opportunity to make some awesome Vines.
The Club really is just your average fine dining experience (that's not an oxymoron, because I said it isn't). The food was average to above average, the service was the same (and it was a buffet, so most of it was self-serve) and the china and silverware were nice. The only thing that made it extra special was that I was in there and you weren't. Which is something I had a great time reminding those below me from the amazing balconies at Club 33.
We spoke at length with the manager, who's spiel seemed a little rehearsed, and even more with a cast member who seemed to have the authentic, enthusiastic answer to every question we threw at him. It's guys like him, whose name I didn't write down because I was too busy thinking of how to be funny, that keep the Disney customer service reputation alive.
I did not buy any alcohol, because it was $14 I'd rather spend on a souvenir that I wouldn't have to run to the toilet to dispose of an hour after consuming, which I did (buy the souvenir, that is). Maybe next time. Disneyland is still a dry park to this guy.
It's an amazing experience, but what makes it special is that it's a once in a lifetime kind of thing, (or ten years if you're as awesome as me.) It's nothing out of the ordinary as a dining experience. But you feel something extra special because you know that the walls surrounding you are soaked with history, and if they could talk, oh boy, the money that would cost Disney in mechanical costs would be amazing (I'm sure they'd tell some cool stories, too.)
It's kind of like seeing the Grand Canyon. You go, you do it, it's spectacular, and when it's over, it's over, which is usually in about 90 minutes. Just, this trip gets you mad bragging rights. Everyone can go to the Grand Canyon.
If you've got some time, check out these panoramas I took while in Club 33. There are so many awesome details, so zoom in, swipe around and check out every pixel.